Jewish Ideas, Rants, and Everything else in between

It's been a while

2008-05-20T18:24:00.000-07:00

I've had a long hiatus from my blogging world.

Some of my fellow bloggers have been blogging, but I haven't had much to blog about.

I haven't had much to blog about. My life is pretty boring. Jewishly, and as a normal teenager.

Let's see. I'm an almost done high school senior battling out these next few weeks.

I recently purchased at WOMEN's art scroll as my quest for Judiasm keeps on coming.

I'm still waiting for some kind of messiah...just kidding!

I am working at the URJ Newman Camp. I'm excited. I'm going to blog about my adventures, don't you worry. This is my blog and I am not going to change it anymore. Alrighty.

I am struggling to find Judiasm in my life. Praying doesn't seem to happen anymore and I dont get that good feeling anymore. A new struggle has hit me, and now I have to do something about it.

June 12th opens a new door, an airplane door actually to the Oakland Airport to Santa Rosa, CA for my summer as a conuselor/songleader.

:] Excitment is all over me.

417 NFTYites in one region....

2008-02-26T08:17:00.001-08:00

This past weekend I attended my first NFTY-MAR event in the year 5768. Oh what an event.

Friday night we all got there on the buses, had some mixers and dressed our best for Shabbat. As a songleader, I had the honor of helping out in services Friday night in the Washington DC shul. I got to stand up there with my guitar side by side with fellow Rabbis, songleaders, and others who were on that stage. Whoops, I mean beema...or is it really that?

Instead of a sermon we had a special presentation. None of us had any idea what was going to happen, but there was a huge projector in the middle of this area, or rather I mean synangogue. [Keep in mind there was probably around 600 people here on this very Shabbat] During the time of this all the sudden the lights dimmed down and a huge HUGE projector came from the sky, or rather top of the synagogue coming down.

The Rabbi held a remote and pressed play. We started to watch a newscast from ABC about a young woman who was a high school teacher teaching 150 students in an inner city in Long Beach California. She had to deal with kids in gangs as parts of the bloods and crips and whatnot. Yes we saw the newstory of "Freedom Writers" the incredible story of the one woman who changed lives of many teenagers by having them read books and learn about the Holocaust and teaching them in such styles that they would actually go to school. Truely, an extremely touching and fantastic story.

After the [at least] 20 mintue news story, the actual teacher got to speak to us. All 600 of us. She had an amazing speech, extremely moving in that black microphone. No notes or nothing.

It may seem as though I'm getting off track, but I'm not.

My parents attended the service and couldnt believe what they just saw. A projector RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of a service!? RIGHT BEFORE the aleniu!? WHAT!?

I was at shock also. I feel they could of presented this a lot better. What do you think? A projector in the middle of services...?

Jewish Ethics

2008-02-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

I am currently enrolled in a philosphy course they offer at my high school with a teacher who loves to jab away at whatever is on his mind. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, a nice teacher, and knows his stuff, I just find some ways of what he teaches entertaining.

On the third day of class we started talking about ethics and how philosphy plays a big part in ethics. That reminded me of one of the electives I took this past summer at the URJ Kutz Campus for Reform Jewish Teen Life. Jewish Ethics with Rabbi Elisa Koppel (one of my FAVORTIE Rabbi's) where we talked about different dilemma's and problems we had to work out. I remember the first day I was in her class we played board games. I was playing Monopoly with some of my peers. Rabbi Koppel told us not to cheat, but on the side she told me to cheat. She said to do it secretly. Of course I cheated, I took some of the money from the banker when he wasn't looking. My partner was very amused and confused as to why I was cheating. It wasn't even like we were behind.

After the games, we talked about our "ethical descions" that we made throughout the games. How some people weren't lucky enough or didn't really know how to win at their games. I told everyone that I cheated, and one girl was in such shock. She didn't understand why. When Rabbi Koppel explained why, she was still confused and telling us that I didn't have to cheat. It's true. I could of gone agaisnt what Rabbi Koppel wanted, but I did what she told me to do.

What if I was in real life and had to make an ethical descion, let alone a Jewish one?

I just had one of the bigger moments in my life tonight. The Reform Judaism magazine e-mailed me. They sent me a message asking if they could use some of my published writing for their next issue about the way Reform Jews pratice their Judaism and how they struggle at home and whatnot. They wanted to use a part of my old iTorah about how I wear a tallit katan. But the problem is I use to wear a tallit katan.

Having no idea what to do I ran downstairs to my parents as they were talking to my older sister about her day at school. I told them my dilemma. My mother looked at me with her motherly like looks and said, "What are you going to do?" I looked at her and said, "I don't know!" And became even more flustered. That's when she pulled it out. The E word. She said, "Well Rachel, it looks like you've got an ethical problem on your hand."

Right in that moment, it was like my high school class came to me and my Jewish Ethics elective came back to me too. I have to make the right ethical choice.

As I went back upstairs to my laptop, I was thinking why couldn't they ask me about Mark Bloom or something!?

I sent Reform Judaism magazine an e-mail explaining how I don't wear a tallit katan anymore, and how I was extremely honored they would want my writing in their magazine. And if they still wanted to use it, I would be more then happy to let them use it.

I guess we will have to wait and see Reform Judaism Magazine, but here's a question for you.

What would you have done in my situation?

1492, the JEWS sailed the ocean blue!

2008-01-31T18:39:00.000-08:00

Since being back from being nestled in the Judean Hills, climbing the academic ladder (as Paul Reinbach [sp?] would say), I have not all that much to do with all this new knowledge inside of my head. Going to my shul just makes me angry...and well now I'm going to be working there which I'm actually pretty exciting. Although it might be hard trying to save the world as an office assistant, filing papers, passing out pizza, putting out the challah, pouring the grape juice...Hey! But it's a start!...right?

The fact that I know that in 1492 was the Spanish Inquisition and all the Jewish people left Spain, is something that if I were to tell a friend at school would look at me and probably call me, "Crazy Jew!" and walk away.

It's frustrating being a Jewish girl in a Christian world. We are apparently part of American the "Mixing Pot" which doesn't make sense when most of our holiday breaks are on CHRISTAN holidays, and revovle around their calenders. Another example is my own high school track and field team.

My track coach is a very religous man making his kids go to church on sundays. And he even says that Family comes first, then religon, then school, then track. I could say that I keep the Sabbath, but then I would have to miss every single track meet. It sucks. I want to be able to keep the Sabbath, but it's hard to do it in a Christan world.

When I was in Israel, I kept the Sabbath, didn't spend money, travel, or work on anything really. I would take a nice walk to the Tel at Tzuba and just sleep a lot. But now, I have to go to track. In a sense, throwing the shotput and discus isn't really "work" because I enjoy it, but I'm not so sure if is considered work in the eyes of Judaism. It's a struggle that a lot of Jews face in America. I know it was one of those main topics of Rabbi Eric Yoffe at the URJ Biennal, but I was in Israel so I didnt get to hear that first hand.

I have stopped using money and doing any kind of school related school work on Shabbat. I know its a step in the right direction, but I guess I'm just longing for the homeland to be honest.

This post has kind of a lot of ramblings, but it's my mind kind of splatered on my computer screen. I haven't blogged in a while, so it's all coming back to me. And its frustrating for sure.

My current struggle (besides all of those other things) is how I'm going to make that difference. Sure, I may only be 18, but there's one thing that I know. I want to make a difference in Judaism someway some how. Whether it be in Israel or America.

Question of the moment...would you call America the Galut? Or the Diaspora. It's what I'm wondering at the moment.

<3

The Amidah

2008-01-29T06:46:00.001-08:00

I know it's been a while, but here it goes again.
I went to shul this past friday for the first time in America in 2008. And for that matter for 5768.
That night was the first night that we were using the Miskan T'Fillah, the newest reform siddur. Our synagogue is starting to use it, but rather slowly to make the transition easier from Gates of Gray to Miskan T'Fillah.

Our clergy has come up with a system of at the end of every month we shall use this siddur and then by June 2, we will start using it for good on Friday nights and then by August using it good for Shabbat Shacharit. I was thinking that this past Friday night was going to be radiclly different and maybe we would try some new things.

Boy was I wrong.

We basiclly did the same thing with a new siddur, just because there aren't any places where it says "Please rise" "Please sit" doesn't stop them from putting in their own ideas. Okay, so I know I am being a bit ridiculous with the whole CTK Reform Judaism, but sometimes I would like to actually have that CTK!! No at my synagogue.
This past summer I was told numerous times to change the world. Friday night I thought I might give it a shot, right?

At the oneg filled with chocolate top cookies and cakes of all sorts, I marched up to our head Rabbi. I asked her, "Why don't we stand for the entire Amidah? Isn't that what we are suppose to do? Imitate the angels?" She responded, "Where does it say in the Torah that you are suppose to stand for the Amidah, why can't you sit for the Amidah?" Hmm...at that point I was confused but couldn't stand up for myself. I was defeated. At least I tried.

After explaining this to my mother, she told me it's not easy to argue with a Rabbi, but it got me thinking. Since when does MY synagogue follow all the laws of Torah and Halacha?! That would of been a good argument. But the point is, we sit down in the middle of the Amidah. It doesn't make sense to me. The Amidah means standing, I know in Israel they sometimes call it shmone׳esrei, even though there could be 19 prayers in the Amidah, but that's a whole different story.
If the same thing happend to you at your shul, how would you go about it?

Gesher Kallah 2007

2007-08-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the NFTY-MAR and PAR's Gesher's Kallah

The theme? Pluralism.

The programs? Fantastic.

We talked a lot about different ideas of Judiasm and what would you do and that whole thing. The RCVPs of both regions are very good friends of mine who have the same idea on pluralism and refrom Judiasm, just one of them wants to make a change and one of them just isn't in the mood to care.

I led a bunch of different services at Gesh.

The first service I led was an optional shacharit service on Wednesday morning with NFTY-MAR's RCVP. We had more than a minyan which was really nice. What surprised me more though, was the fact that we didn't do weekday nusach. Especially with a smaller group of people that came because they wanted to have a service, you would think that they would know it, but we didn't do it. And I was upset by it, and wanted to make a change, which I did later that night. I was stuck with the women's service. When we got to the Amidah section of the ma'ariv, I decided to go on an adventure and do weekday nusach. Even though that should not be an adventure. Soon as we dove into the G'vurot, I soon realized that my praying was a solo thing, and no one was probably connecting. I was in a pickle, should I keep on doing weekday nusach even though no one is chanting along with me, or should I do the shabbat nusach because thats what everyone knows and can connect to? And even though it hurt me, I went with Shabbat nusach only because I feel is better to have more then just one person connecting to a service.

Even though I went agasnt my own ideas of a great service, I still found a way to connect to it. But what does that tell us about pluralism and the reform movement? That we don't pray enough? That we should know weekday nusach?

I'm not sure, but maybe you will know.

Shavua Tov

A different look on things

2007-08-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

Tzzit Tzzit.
Tzit Tzit
Tsit Tsit

Well, however you spell it, it's one of those things that you might see some Jewish people wearing.

I wrote an iTorah about it. If you want to read it for yourself, go here

The mitzvah of tzit tzit wearing, is something that means a lot to me. I wore my tzit tzit all year during junior year. The only times I would not have it on my body was while I was playing sports (because it gets in the way of goalie pads) and would wear dresses or things that would not work well with tzit tzit underneath. I felt a lot more connected to Hashem and Judiasm while I wore them.

This summer at Kutz I stopped wearing them. I gave them to another girl to wear them because she wanted to try it. Before I did, I asked her, "Do you understand why people wear tzit tzit, and why do you want to wear them?" She kind of shook her head and didn't really know. She thought that it would be "cool" to wear them. I made her read my iTorah for starters.

It just makes me upset sometimes. How can someone be ignorant but want to do the mitzvah. Alright, good do the mitzvah but at least know why you are doing it and what it means.

I got over it. She wore tzit tzit. She gave it back to me after I week. Then I got my new tzit tzit in the mail. It was too big. I started getting frustrated with Judiasm. And then I just stopped wearing tzit tzit.

At first I just stopped because the tzit tzit would not work well underneath my cute clothes. But then I realized how different everything was. I use to be that girl who wore tzit tzit. I was one of the first ones. Not having that anymore kind of made me upset. But I didnt wear tzit tzit to claim fame. I'm not that girl. I wore it because I wanted that connection with Hashem, the Torah, but once again I didnt really know as much as I do now.

So I havent worn my tzit tzit since Kutz, and actually I gave them away to a girl who wanted to try them. I plan on buying a new pair once I get to Israel.

But what are your ideas on tzit tzit.
Here's his idea on this mitzvah

Shabbat Shalom

2007-08-17T19:12:00.000-07:00

Shabbat.

It's our seventh day. Its that day of rest.

Depending on your traditions, you might be just hanging out, not tying your shoes, not cooking meals or making fire.

Or maybe you might be finding time to do all those things you can't do during the week. Like play sports or go shopping.

Whatever it is, everyone has their own ways of celebrating Shabbat.

This Summer at Kutz I was chanllenged by a Rabbi from Flordia to take time out of my crazy and hetic teenager life to actually relax and enjoy Shabbat. My first reaction is, are you kidding me? That's when I have track meets! Thats when I get to go and do all the things like homework and catch up on projects! How could I possibly make time for something that happens every single week. I mean that's why I'm a reform jew! I can do whatever I want!

Well that's the thing. That's what I would of said last year.
"I'm a reform Jew, I can do whatever I want!"

Growing is a beautiful thing. I know it's going to be hard, but since I've come home from Kutz I've gone to services every single Friday night. It's a start. I'm a fan of praying and whatnot, but I'm not a fan of the way my temple does things. And well, I got over it tonight.

Then again there were a lot of people there and the new Rabbi broke out his Ibanez guitar...and when a clergy memeber songleads with a guitar it just makes me and my family so happy.

Maybe I can do this whole Reform thing. We will see where Israel takes me.

It all starts in 10 days.

But I've got a question for you, the reader, how do you set apart Shabbat from the rest of the week?

Shabbat is almost here

2007-08-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

So I'm wondering.

Do I dare go to my temple and experince the services where I drive my parents insaine with questioning and upset comments I make towards the services as I disrupt their davening?

OR

Do I go back, try to have an open mind and see if I can handle this before I get to have amazing (or so I think) services in the Homeland in less then two weeks?

I dont know, but I do know you all will hear about it.

I just dont know what's going on with reform Judiasm lately.

I feel really badly about having Mark Bloom found out...Like I know it's my fault and all, and once again the internet has gotten me in trouble.

Maybe I should just quit this blogging bussiness...from the Kutz incident to this..

Goodnight world.

Oops?

2007-08-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

Okay so I just read Jesse Paikin's blog and what Rabbi Eric Yoffee said.

So maybe he isn't the bad guy after all? Not that he ever was in the first place, but you know how I get all caught up in the crazyness of jewish blogging...right? Of course.

Hey, let's face it I'm not the worst of the bunch.

Just imagine this blog in 2008 after being in Israel..cant wait go to the homeland.

And I'll be taking a small hiatus when I go to NFTY-Mar's and Par's Gesher Kallah. REALLY excited.

:]

Reform..Progressive...What...?

2007-08-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

I feel like there are so many things that are happening right now.

Where is Judiasm going?
Are we actually going to do anything about it or are we all just going to blog about it?
Maybe we just complain about it until someone gets the job done, I mean we are Jews after all.

Hear it here first, I am going to do something about it. I will make a change. I will make a revolution and I will change the world.

It's just a matter of when and how, oh but it WILL happen.

JUSTICE JUSTICE JUSTICE. Just like this week's Torah portion. It makes a circle.

Reform Jews will have justice. We won't stand for what Eric Yoffee said, just like what this week's Torah portion talks about! YES.

I get really excited sometimes. Circle of the day. :]

Mark Bloom. AH!

2007-08-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

So when anyone from Kutz hears that name...basiclly you get some kind of reaction.

I remember my intial reaction, okay so this guy is doing services a little bit differently, I'll embrace it. I was even somewhat ready because one of my good friends was helping lead it and was singing in services. I even sat in the front of the beit am.

I think the news article is that Mrs. Cohen wrote well, view here is the people who walked out weren't ones that really cared about services. Yeah some were, but the kids who stayed were the ones who probably respect the service way more. I mean thats why I stayed. I even tried to embrace it. I got into it. Sure, I didn't connect to the service but do you expect to connect to every single service you go to? Honestly it's ridiculous that they walked out. Some of the people who did walk out were kids who talk during services, who don't get a crap about any of that. They just got upset by ONE service and then go and FREAK OUT about it.

You have no idea how much that makes me upset. And that's when the reform jewish movement got a wake up call. because of those minyans in bathrooms and supply closets.

Maybe they should of gotten the perspective of someone who actually cares about services and gives respect to people because I understand how hard it is to put together a service in front of lots of teenagers. It's called being a songleader. And I know I'm not the only one who thinks this.

ALSO to add what lovely Josh has pointed out to me is the whole humiliation thing. I forgot about that. There for I also praticed Torah. I love it!

Let the wheels turn..

2007-08-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so after reading a lot of different ideas on Reform Judiasm and Judiasm in general...I'm really wondering about all of this.

Most of us place ourselves in a movement. And most of the people who are reading this are probably reform and progressive Jews.

Heres the thing. Maybe we don't need to start a revoultion. MAYBE we just have to change the future. Maybe we just have to get rid of these labels.

Back in the day when I wanted to become a Rabbi (I still do..) one of the goals I wanted was for the orthodox movement to see reform Jews as Jews. Which they do, (I realized that later) but that's not the point. When I told one of my good friends that he tried to chanllege me into believeing that maybe I should try to completely get rid of movements and that is what I should strive to. Now that I think about it..it sounds a tad bit more appealing.

I have new ideas now. Maybe we just need to enforce pluralism even more. It's kind of ironic how it's this year's NFTY theme. I mean, its such an importance in reform Judiasm. I dont think people realize it enough.

Maybe there should just be a pluralistic movement?

I donno I'm just spit balling here.

Circles, Rants, and other things

2007-08-10T13:27:00.000-07:00

Okay so this might be my third blog on blogger, but I like to be organized with different things and such.

But since I'm so unsure about my Judiasm, and just like any Jewish person I'm struggling.

And just like any other Jewish person I blog about it. :] oh you know i'm right.

CTK (Choice Through Knowledge), from what I hear its the entire idea of "reform" Judiasm.
But I did a recent poll on my facebook in a note, and have gotten a varitey of anwsers.
Some make me thinks. Others just make me go eh so what.

organization-a group of persons organized for some end or work; association: a nonprofit organization.

It's the 5th definition down on dictionary.com (don't you just love the interenet..!)

Not always good, some are evil. But they are all out to achieve something.

And when youre the president of one, you probably have a job of some kind of importance, and depending how important and powerful your organization is, you might be watched by all kinds of people, or by a certian type of people.

What happens when your president says something that you may not agree with?

Do you just want to go up into flames and not be part of this...or do you do something about it?

Now I'm not into revolutions or anything...but I want to start a revolution.

And how am I going to do that? I've got some ideas...and a great co-revolution starter with.

Here's a different rant.

Shabbat.

I was at my temple last night experincing my first service since the sunrise service I led at the URJ Kutz Campus for Reform Jewish Teen Life (and yes I know all you important people in NFTY have a great chance of reading this...) and I knew what to expect.

For some reason I couldn't get into it. I knew that I wasn't going to get into it, but last night just some things really really bugged me. And being a normal teenager, I complained about it to my parental units as they got fed up with me and wasn't so keen on taking me to services again. But this is what I was so fed up with and confused about.

Number One.
Why do we do the candle blessing twice? First the bat/bar mitzvah mothers do it and say it, we all say amen and then the lovely panio player (Frank, he's awesome) plays it on panio as we all sing to it. And our student cantor (who I love dearly) sings it again. That was the first thing that confused me.

Number Two.
Kab Shab. I know even at Kutz we didn't do the whole thing, and it bothered me then too, but at my shul we don't even do any of it. Why? Personally it's my favorite part of the service. Its so much fun with the different songs and melodies. Its kind of like that pump up music before the big game, instead its a big service. But hey we are "reform"

Number Three.
Lcha Do Di. I mean who needs all those verses right? Hah WRONG. We do about 4 instead of all of them. Of course we have the last verse, but still. That doesn't make it right. I want all my verses.

Number Four.
Please Rise. Please be seated. As I personally do, I did not stand for Ahavat Olam and Sh'ma. I also dont usally stand for Maariv arivum (sp?), and the Mourners Kaddish, (I did that night because i felt funny at first) but what's up with these directions. I thought reform Judiasm is all about making your own choices. Instead most of the people are just on command. You want them standing, they'll stand, you want them sitting they'll sit. I wonder if they know what stooping is....anyways besides the point. It just kind of confuses me if we are told what to do instead of making choices ourselves if we are believers of this CTK idea.

Number Five.
The Amidah. I'm sure you can guess what I'm going to say, but we aren't really into that whole entire Amidah deal. Its not even in the siddur we use. I mean honestly come on. I can get over the fact that we do a bunchhh of English readings, but I feel like we should make up with that by doing the entire prayer. Which leads me to my next point..

Number Six.
Okay we are reform...doesn't that mean lite? So let's not read the whole prayer! Come on now. We don't have all that hebrew on the page to be pretty, we have it to read and embrace it. Don't just say the first line and then some reading that doesn't even make sense anyways. Its upsetting really.

Okay I'm done.

I'm just frustrated. But I am doing something about it. I am going to talk to my Rabbi and chanllege what she has to say about this.

Oh I cant wait for Miskan Tefillah to come. :]